Groomy

我不唱聲嘶力竭的情歌
不代表我沒有心碎的時刻
我不曾攤開傷口任宰割
癒合 就無人曉得我內心挫折——陳奕迅《孤獨患者》

不得不承認
歌詞 總有那麼一兩首在描述我當下的心情

但相比之下，

也許 王菲那一曲《給自己的情書》會更適合現在的我。

Untitled

生命在成長。

而我  在學習成長

孤獨這門課的學分 大概我已經修完了

誰都不知道我心底有多暗

以前的我 是個到哪都要人陪的膽小者

只要無人在旁 我寧願挨餓都不敢移步到食堂

我想我是名副其實的膽小  還是很嚴重的那種

但現在 

已經習慣一個人的孤單

反若有人在旁會讓我極其不自在

感覺就像有人踏進了他不該踏進的圈

我不想理會  不想解釋  也不想辯解

連分享，我也感覺很沉重 

其實我也並不曉得自己何時步入此況

自從那天和大學裡的朋友stay back溫習  

大家聊了聊  也問了些問題和想法

問題還沒去到最後

在最初的那一刻 我就已經很厭惡了

敷衍了幾句 也敷衍了微笑

這並不是說熟不熟的關係

而是就算面前站著問我的是對我來說最熟悉的

又或是心儀的 甚至是知己

我也沒那股劲去解說 去分享

我很厭倦   很累

為什麼要披著面具戴上笑容

那種虛偽的假裝

讓我覺得很窒息 很無奈

但誰不知媽媽是女人？

沒有那個願意畫臉扮小丑  

但這就是你生存在社會的首要條件

就算再累 他們還是無底線地去迎合他人

那精神 我是真的很佩服

看來 我堅強這一課的積分是零吧

那 堅強的代價又是什麼？

那些年的想法

現在回想起來實在是太瘋狂了

那時候 總被夢想點燃

認為生活必須尋求刺激 沒有激情等於留白

但是 在意料之外

我已經不期望人生能有72色

能擁有最基本的紅 黃 藍  3色我已經覺得有多了

生活

我只想 淡淡地 淡淡地 走下去

曾經的認為和想法還有執著

也許對現在的我來說 不重要了 都不重要了

我不需要了 

很多東西在我離開中學後被改頭換面了

其實它也稱不上是“被改頭換面”  或許說這一直都存在著 

只是我沒來得及發現

生活從不簡單

簡單  就必失去精彩那一塊

對於這個‘我’

我很陌生

Fear

Final test is around. I feels so stress and yet I couldn't sleep at night recently. I takes twice or even more cup of coffee everyday and I still cannot stay awake! What can i do with it?!! Sigh*

I worrying about stats. I worrying about chem. I worrying about english. I worrying about phys. I worrying about alg. I worrying about all... 

I am so fed up.

An old friend

好不容易翻回這張經典的——遺照。

中學的第一天，除了那沒心沒肺的許同學，這位老朋友是我第一位認識的異友，我當時的前座鄰居。對，沒錯，外型是‘異’但內心是‘同’的。嗚～太懷念你了～

也有差不多三年之多的時間不見了。超懷念咱們過去一起‘混’的日子。高一那年你不告而別，留下了這張‘遺照’——也是唯一一張跟你的合照——因而我特別珍惜。說實在，我還真的有點氣憤你的不告而別。誒，我說老友是這樣當的嗎？

然後，後續你也懂得啦～ 唉，對你大感失望啊…:P

唔…還否記得那年光陰？
我倆一起比畫工…
我仨一起拼考試…
我仨一起聊八卦…
我仨一起追蘇打綠！

那首『小情歌』，還有那首『無與倫比的美麗』。我仨尬歌的瘋狂，光想就想笑。
唉～如此美好的回憶～哈哈，別來無恙吧？
怎樣，少了我和那沒心沒肺的就好像少了點什麼吧～後悔了唄～ XD

就說嘛，轉什麼校！唉～

不過說實在，我真的很慶幸能和你當上說長不長，說短不短的三年餘數月之交拉。謝謝你曾經也光臨過我的人生！（我要強調‘真的’，因為是真的！:P）

三年餘數月就三年餘數月唄，我會用心記得你這老友;)

雖然不知道現在的你身在何處，但依然，
祝你前程似錦。加油！

Karaoke

RELAX! -Hanging out with friends is always a pleasant thing to do;)

Forgotten

曾經，對於‘生活’這一詞我懷有很熱衷的態度。
但這中想法不持久。我已經慢慢地淡忘了生活是怎麼一回事…

近來經常來回記憶裡，
我還不想面對如此的社會
我慌 不知覺地就會往記憶裡奔跑。

到底我為什麼而活了下來？

我真的很納悶…

如果時間倒帶那該多好…
但要面對的總需面對。

想說，
我真的累了…

To my precious one

還是中文比較有親切感，說起話來也比較有說服力。也許英文差才這麼覺得吧～

首先，鄭重的恭喜全體高三畢業生！恭喜你們總於順利地熬過了六年的中學時光！
很不幸地無能跟你們一同畢業。這必定是我終生的遺憾！
而我確實每天都在遺憾中度過艱辛與孤獨的每一秒。每晚臨睡前，總會有些畫面油然地在我記憶的腦海裡被湧上岸邊。我會擔心，今天的你、你、你、你、你…和你有沒有過的很好，今天有帶著微笑起跑嗎？課室裡的溫度有比烘爐稍微好嗎？…
想完這些有的沒的，輾轉反側，目光又停留在窗外那片寧靜而又溫柔的黑海。月光的亮度有時還可以媲美被點燃的燭光。可以躺在床上細看此景，心中真的有種說不出的幸福。我感幸福，因為我能健康地和家人活在一塊。我感幸福，因為朋友沒有離我而去。我感幸福，因為我四肢健全，還能感受和探視一切的一切。我感幸福，因為我活著！
很多時候我都會在想，如果上天再給我一次回到2012年2月14日的機會，讓我重新選擇，我想我的答案還會是一樣——我會選擇離開。這不是牛不牛的問題，而是當我站著現在的位置回頭展望，我發現了自己很多的不足。這種缺陷如果在念完高三以後再去彌補的話，恐怕已經太遲了。
是，雖說有時我會很想回到中學時期，但我能確信那是因為我想做逃兵。對於堅強這一塊，我過於高估了它。而脆弱那一環，我低估了你。
衷心感謝曾在我生命中出現的你、你、你、你、你…和你！沒有你們，也許我的生活只能是鹹魚配白飯。感謝你們把我的個人史在中學時期那一欄填寫得那麼密麻無空而萬分精彩！感謝那些光臨過我人生卻在中場休息離場的人。感謝那些送上溫暖，給予鼓勵的人。感謝喜歡我和我喜歡的人。感謝那些有事沒事都會找到我座位來亂的人。感謝那些得空就吠的狗。感謝那些伸手援助的人。感謝那些沒有義務卻一直陪著我的人…那片我們一同渲染的回憶將永柱我心底！我的生活因你們而精彩！

朋友這東西不是菜市場買菜，這家選了幾分鐘又到那家挑幾小時。有些人，也許賠上了一輩子的性命，也不能從他的好友列表裡找不到那位真正‘啱嘴型’兼真摯之交。因此，我很慶幸在第一眼中認識了你——許凱曌。咱們那片‘蒼海桑田’真是無人能曉啊～

PS: 特愛此照。沒法，唯一張搞笑:)

歷經了多少橫風橫雨，多少冷戰分岐，多少笑聲和淚分泌，多少疲倦和厭倦才能編制出咱們多嘔心瀝血的故事啊～人說，獅子和白羊是絕配。我想這沒有反駁的餘地。我信了，你呢？
經歷了那麼多，彼此也繞了這麼一個大圈去認識彼此，此刻還能互賴，想想想當彼此的知音還真不容系啊～慶幸你沒有在中場離我而去，感謝你心持著那份堅持！我知道其實你沒有義務對我好，但六年來你卻對我不離不棄，這份情，我很感動。真的。很多東西我沒有告訴你不是因為我不信任你，只是覺得彼此心靈上已有了共識，無需再費口婆心的。
希望我們的友情能繼續長跑下去。就算距離再遠，也不比心的位移靠近些:)

下來這位有點糾結——蘑菇。人們都說我倆很像，但我橫看斜看，上看下看，左看右看…到底哪裡像了？目前為止，我還欠個解釋呢～哈。

你蛤～隨時都會與淚水standby。呵～其實我也是啦～你太單純了。要記得，這世界不會因為你單純或無知的想法而改變周遭的環境去配合你的思緒。要帶著堅強去迎戰！我這避風港不會因地理因素而搬遷的，就算版塊撕裂或是斷層，要不變畸形，要不改頭換面。記得，要開心！

阿箐嫂～從認識到現在，我還處於一個很朦朧的狀態。試問施主究竟是何方神聖？——這問號藏在我心底至今刄無半點回音。求解～

我並不是個善言的人。很多感受藏在心裡沒說出來不代表我漠不關心。有些東西，你懂我就好。當然你懂我最好～:D 你懂不懂丫～嘎！超想念宋福榮的說！

頭髮，還很飄逸。會隨身帶個包包上課了～很好～

想當初第一次上他的課時，他只手持一銀鋼色保溫杯和一黑色白板筆，仰頭挺胸，黑似墨汁的柔順長髮絲隨三寸金蓮般的步伐在那藍天白雲之下飄逸著，自信神采地走進了初三白。當時我心裡最真實的感受：這位是來幹啥的？^^
很感謝你一路來的指導！是你讓我對物理產生了感情～謝謝，謝謝和謝謝！
現在唯一遺憾的是：沒能和你合照！還有…我會努力的！

離開中學和熟悉的臉孔，來到了一個相對陌生且毫無絲毫安全感的大學，四處相對著新鮮的
臉孔，有時我真的很無言，甚至泛淚。有時當甚至當我一個人安靜地坐在某個角落又或是跟一群朋友圍繞一群談話時，我都會有種‘世界到底在熱鬧什麼’的感覺…那種無名的傷感真的很催淚，叫我與思念又纏繞。
大學也即將步入第五個月了。那些臉孔們，確實，在我的記憶體裡，還蠻‘新鮮’的。也許我就是這麼一個，普遍的‘慢熱’型。^^
畢竟到了一個很‘新鮮’的環境，還得用著最不擅長的語言去溝通。對此我還真懊惱！
很想去學好英文，但又很想去維持中文水平。當英文有點頭緒了，中文又被拖了一截。這倆到底要怎樣平衡啊！？英文啊～中文啊～你倆就不能來個雙劍合璧麼？

我已經沒有退路可走，只有前進的道路。未來是好是壞刄是個未知數。
此刻心情也只能套用蘇東波先生的水調歌頭來說明：
人有悲歡離合，月有陰晴圓缺。此事古難全，但願人長久，千里共嬋娟…

謝謝你們一路來的陪伴。
我永銘記於心！

Bro's graduation ceremony

Went to my brother's graduation ceremony this morning with my family. I'm so glad that my grandparents would come to join this ceremony as well :)

If you want me to say congratulation to my brother then pardon me. I can't do that! Since I was just entered college and still has another 8months to suffer!! Oh Damn!!

 I am Stressful!

No one knows how my recent life looks like. It's...SUCKS!
Frankly, I hate my college's life...
I wanna get out of here!!!!!!

Helpless

My life had been so chaotic since I entered the school. I lived under a messy and blurry circumstances in my school. Ouch! Horrible!! I didn't get what they meant and I was so vexed! The past few months in school, I was living in a place where surrounded by anxiety and nervous. I even had the sense of crying because of I felt like I have nobody to accompany, my fellows all weren't with me and also homesick. From these, I can know that I'm still a 'young' lady. But later on, I gradually adapt the fact that I'm a loner here and fears slowly had been taken out of my heart.

I'm so grateful that I have a kind-hearted and helpful algebra teacher. I bet he is the only one person who understand perfectly what I feel inside my heart. Since he had gone through the situation as I'm doing here before, so he shared his experiences with me and it makes me feel fearless to carry on. Thank you so much!

I detest a lot and I know I shouldn't. I have been gone through a lot of things that made me fed up here and I wish it won't come to me anymore, please.. Don't come to me ever.

I feel like I couldn't control my temper anymore.. oh gosh! HELP!!

Untitled

不妥。

輕飄的霎那便忘了初衷
回頭尋，軌跡已重重偏離
前進後退我尋無方

我能感覺那感覺..

抽不回...

我需要時間。

Rainy Day

今朝晨曦看不見晨光。

剛到車站便細雨連綿了。濃郁的大地味重重地迎面撲來，當時的心情還真有點釋懷了。

手撐雨傘看著細雨浩大

冷氣遍布四周，環繞我的身軀，冷凍了雙手，輕撫了臉龐。

閉上雙眼後腦袋便像似被設置了‘自動播放’，我又碰上了記憶。

因朋友在旁，所以我很掙扎地從它那兒逃脫。

我不敢把它從最內心裡放大，也不敢把它在腦袋裡刪除。

只能來回遊蕩

迷迷糊糊地，來到了第六週

依稀能記得他們的名

還未能完全把心投入這環境

心裡惦記的那塊老地也緩緩地從我熟悉的變去陌生

看著學弟妹穿校服，

心裡的感覺就只有‘你不再是那個你’。

或許，真的，我不再是那個我...

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

此刻此時，真的不懂該說些什麼來表達。滿肚子都是想對你說的話，但不知該從何說起是好。也許表達方式有點笨拙，但全是真心。

首先，很謝謝這一份『18歲的禮物』！

18歲，呼～ 我們終於都走出了13歲的孩子氣，跨過了18歲的欄杆。感觸特別多，淚水也..。在這之前，我深感慚愧因送你的那份禮物我未能如期完成，還在進行中，對我的工作效率很有意見吧～哈～本來做的跟你給的一樣，但是過後想了想，『嗯..不夠特別～』，因而致此。

18，對我來說可怕的不是數字，而是背後的意義。它就像似一碗包含了分離、夢想、成熟、責任、壓力、孤單的雜錦粥。混臘的味道，不是每個人都吃得消，至少我是。

從陌生到熟悉，再從熟悉變回陌生。

唉～人生吶～

雖然我們口口聲聲地說，我們不會因此改變，但是在某個程度上，我們都在改變。 如果說我們都站在原點，那麼我們對彼此真的很自私。我們都有自己的想法、自己的夢。雖說不想改變，但始終有一天，我們都要為自己的夢想加上鋪墊，隨著鋪墊而分道揚鑣。

雖然我們的個體都在追隨自己的夢，但希望彼此那友誼的21公克的靈魂會在每一點交觸。

你知道嗎? 我有多感謝你進駐我的生命，參與我的人生，築建我的回憶。
我的人生，因你而圓滿。


在這裡，無時無刻會因一個人很隨意的動作而聯想到某個人。又因某個人的聯想而擴散到另一個人的身上。因此讓我回憶無窮，而想撞破時光關閉的那扇門。任由我怎麼走，怎麼跑，我也永遠只能站在門縫邊看著時光倒退的影子。

思念無時無刻都會往我心裡兜轉一趟，每輾過的痕跡都泛紅了眼眶。

火車站的等待，總讓我隱隱作痛。身邊無人作伴，目光停留在鐵軌上的石子，直至大家都在瞬間挺身前進方知它的蒞臨。走進車廂，幸運的話你有位子站，不幸運的話就被擠得不像人型。看見一位馬來母親抱著自己俩孩左右睡一邊，我覺得很溫馨。印度同胞指示站著的我那邊有位子，我覺得很溫馨。一位馬航空姐讓位給老奶奶，我覺得很溫馨。

溫馨，在車廂裡，很容易被尋找，也很容易被埋沒。只在乎你是否有那顆心。


離開雖說不上是件好事，但也不完全是件壞事。

在這裡，我學多了。


我想，
如果那一天我沒有堅決的離開，也許今朝淚流不會那麼狼狽..
如果沒有離開，也許我不會看著電話簿見誰就想觸聯絡鍵..
如果沒有離開，也許今天我還不知道去珍惜..
如果沒有離開，也許今天我還不知道愛的意義..
如果沒有離開，也許今天我還不知道怎麼真正去關心一個人..
如果沒有離開，也許我不曉得『睹物思人』是種怎麼樣的感覺..

謝謝當時的挽留，抱歉我這頭蠻牛。


有時累了，很想倒。

但想到還有你們也在拼統考，所以不知覺地就微笑

那一刻我明白，距離不代表真正的分離。

那一刻，我想了。

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. 

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.

Just walk beside me and be my friend. =]  -Albert Camus

Raindrops

這個雨後，那感覺回來了。
記憶不算清晰，但是那感覺是很真切、實在的

還記得嗎? -我猜...你忘了



我期待每一陣微風的吹送，更期待每一場雨的降臨

聽著它拍打屋頂的聲音，一噠接一噠地，那種感覺真的很棒

我也愛上那個味道，很大地的、自然的。

我在想著若有一天我能躺在馬路中央
看著雨滴從高空一束束墜落
感受著和我擦肩而過的、掉落入眼的、輕撫鼻尖的、親吻嘴唇的、拍打臉龐的
再把我遍體沖洗

這種感覺，應該很享受。
有機會的話，我會嘗試


雨季
對我來說，是自然界最美好的賞賜。
我並不是很喜歡太陽的猛烈，也不喜歡雪野
就算不是雨季，只要太陽靠邊站，我就很感謝了。


我一直都在尋找那個地方。
那個讓我釋放，自在的  -也許就是那個地方

我會記得，那個感覺
你呢?

Woman in black with buddies.

Watched movie with my buddies, the woman in black. A horror film, just quite not entirely horror. Honestly, I not really caught what the film was talking about, I means the plot. Because I was definitely late!!! I'm not blaming Carlol, but myself. I totally forget that was Friday, and I must get out before 12, if not I would not get drive. Friday always been a busy day for me and my parents, because the Malay workers have to go to surau! So no one could fetch me. So, that's why I called Marco to fetch and it also why I got late... what's a pity.

Male leading, Mr Daniel Jacob Radcliffe as Arthur Kipps. WOW! Gorgeous, huh? HAHA.

By the way, I met the chummy girl, Peizy which is my sis's girlfriend. Don't get confuse, my sis is equal to my buddy. So, 'she' is not a lesbian, 'she' is a male, which's the one who fetched me, Mr Marco. Yeah, get it now? Haha... Eventually I met this pretty girl which I'd been eager to meet to! Personally, she's pretty nice and I really like her nose! Really do. But I here to declare, I'm not a weirdo..LOL.

Here to my friends. Long time no see, howdy?? Yeah, I still alive! Nothing big changes with them, all still the same looking and unchangeable personality. I was so excited that Leesung and Waikit would join us to watch out the movie. It's great to see them! Furthermore, I was happy to see you guys too, Qiu, Leeen, Tengz, Loo and Rivs. Almost forget there was a people absented and her reason was, 'I scare to watch horror movie.' hmn, quite nice reason what, I thought. LOL.  By the way, I wonder since when Leesung got himself a funny name, 'lap ye'? It's really laugh my ass off! I couldn't believe that he would accept the new name. What a pretty nice name. Besides, I also found that the name 'lap ye' was also suit for Caleb! Friends all agree with it~ But Caleb seems not recognize yet.

After Mc.D, they all discarded me alone at the mall... Oh, you guys hurt me deeply~ Sigh, in fact they were getting home and... maybe... pretend as a good child. I didn't know about the rest but I know Leeen does and he always does. Indeed, he's a pity child. He done all things for his mom, even an exam. I knew him when I was twelve, we're classmates. He's a Taiwanese a.k.a Malaysian. Looks like... speechless, but he always thinks himself is the most handsome in the world, the world best, ever! I just wonder how comes he's so confident with his.. entire. It's really OMG if being his friend! You'll hear that how he praise himself everyday, every moments even a nanosecond. Oh God! Honestly, I'm not blaming but I do appreciate God lets me meet this guy (it's more appropriate to call him doggie~) Actually he's chummy and funny... and long story...

So, after saying Good-bye I went to book stall alone with my desperation. Sigh. After Popular book stall I went into MPH and eventually I found two novels that I've been searching for a long while, that were 'The Lucky One' which's by Nicholas Sparks and 'One Day' by David Nicholls. I think gradually turning into a fan of Nicholas Sparks. I've been reading his masterpieces recently and found that his'd done a very good job in his every single novel. Indeed, by reading his novels, I could briefly understand the lifestyle of American! It's so great for me!!

Fortunately I found my primary friend, Eric while drifting. He was working as a promoter in front the Nike shop. It's been a couple of years we didn't meet each other. Nice to see him:) But honestly, I've forgotten a lot of my primary friends but weirdos I wouldn't. HAHA.

Gathering With Buddies.

Had a great time with my buddies at Centro. Just a week, there could be a lot of changes.

Koh and Rivs, both are my dear friends. Of course, including Lez, Qiu, Kath, etc.... that I can't mention all on here. Though we'd done some mistakes to hurt each others, but it all's past. All we got to do now are to cherish our friendship and strengthen it.

You guys knew, I'm a person that who can't do thing without mood. Even if I had made appointment with you and at last I would change my mind. I'm so sorry about it. This's what I am. I've tried my very best to change it, but I couldn't. As friend, I hope you'll understand and forgive me, can you?

here we were, Chopstick Res.

     We would choose Centro all because of we guys wanna try out the restaurant which located in front of Starbuck, if I not mistaken, the restaurant named, The Shepherdoo? isn't it?? K, that's not the point, the point is they just serve above 18, cause that's a bar... speechless ya.. We thought that's a coffee shop or western restaurant but in fact it isn't. LOL. So, we decided 'Chopstick'.

3little girls were playing block building while waiting for our meals. And of course took shot, that's what asian girls always did..haha...

My meal didn't take time long, but they both did. After I finished mine, theirs didn't even show up.
Personally, I think the foods aren't so tasty but I shouldn't be so picky. Appreciate and cherish!!! The more you possess, the less you care. That's what people always do, including me...

Love you guys.

Sorry for leaving with stillness. I was just needed some time to figure out my way, so I didn't go to school on that day. And I still remember, the day was Valentine's Day, a sweet, meaningful day for those couples but a meaningless day for our singles:) Hope you will forgive what I did. May God bless you guys. -Hayley 

Accident

I thought it would be a gloomy Thursday, nothing going to happen. But the adjective 'gloomy', has replaced into 'horrible' after 3.54p.m. One of my friends posted a news in FB, she wrote that our classmate, Linkiat had been involved in a car accident. At first, I thought they were spinning yarn so I phoned my friends for asking the truth. Unfortunately, he’s having a surgery at the general hospital. Information from my friend, she said that he had been collided by a lorry while going home. Bones broke, head hurt, mouth broke… Oh my God, can’t imagine the view. Ouch!

We guys got nothing to do to, just to pray for him and hope he will get well soon. No matter what happened, we guys will always be with you! Take rest and care for your own. 

Don’t wait until a thing disappear from our life then we regret. We should cherish and be grateful for what we possess. Life is too short. 

I love you guys,

Hayley.

190212-The Wedding Party

19th Feb, 2012- It was a beautiful yet breezy Sunday morning. We all got to wake up very early and got ready to go back to my lovely hometown, Seremban. It has been a long while I didn't go back to there even meet my dear siblings. Oh, dears, I miss you so much! We would go back for this time were to attend my sibling, E-wah's wedding party. Wow, I was so happy to hear this big news and she eventually married. We guys all had been wishing her would get married soon and now our dream has came true! She almost 31 already. Thanks God.

Playing games at outdoor. 

We reached there at about 10a.m in the morning accompany with my sixth uncle. I was longing to meet up the bridegroom 'cause he is a foreigner who is from Australia. I haven't been meeting up with a foreigner and it was my dream, so I was truly insane at that moment. What I want to say is, he is absolutely a good-looking guy, charming person. I like the way he speaks english and I really enjoys it. He just looks like some group singer and I recognized his mum just looks like the American singer, Taylor Swift!! No cheat, my sibling admits too.  For the poor cow which is me didn't took chance to converse with them cause I've no idea what to talk to. And the main problem is-no gut! Sigh... My english sucks!

Indeed, this was the second time they held the wedding party. The foremost was held in Australia, Adelaide. All because of we couldn't attend her wedding in Australia so she decided to hold the second in Malaysia. See, how thoughtful she is.

The female lead's kind of  pretty but I was scared with 
her eyes, 'cause her eyes were too big ,  like dropping out.

Noontime, we got nothing to do. So, my dad decided to go out for a walk. He fetched my uncles, aunties and siblings went to the Jusco shopping mall. Instead, Khadiah and I stayed at my uncle's house for watching the blockbuster which called 'Letters to Juliet'. It's quite nice and romantic, but kind of boring. I almost slept. The story is about a girl called Sophie helps a old lady to find out her lover in Italy and soon she falls in love with the old lady's grandson, Charlie. Hmn, something like that. No doubt, girls like peeping guys. This's a natural scene. Well, there're no exception with both two girls. After finishing the film, we started to discuss about the male lead, Charlie. She told me Charlie is handsome and gorgeous. She likes guy like him. For me, I thought the bridegroom, Marc-gorgor is much more handsome and gorgeous than the male lead!

Male lead, Chris Egan and the female lead, 
Amanda Seyfried.
(Lol, when'll be my turns? ..XD)

Dusk was coming. We all got ready to move on to the party. We guys played the.. erm, what's that called? I don't even know in chinese... see my pics. Aha, fortunately, I met 2 pairs of twins in a day. Couldn't believe that! How lucky am I!! Hoorray~

What's the stuffs called? Popper?

The 1st pair of twins. Can you see it? The right one and the left one!
Didn't take pic with the second pair, sigh. 

The happy ending.

Insane

#1 Once again, my friend asked me, 'Why you love America so much??'.

Honestly, I don't know the answer.

I don't even know why am I so into America even if America is not the better choice. 

I'm truly insane!

Just like other said, there are no reason if you really like someone or something.

So, guys, don't ask for the same question again and again, please:)

My throat goes dry already... lol

Lately in my life, my heard that many of my friend have left and go further study in US// OMG!!!!

I really envy them!! That's my dream!!!

When's my turn?????!! - the question I always ask myself.

And somehow, I'll answer myself, 'Maybe another 3years later...' (with desperate)

few minutes later, I'll feel very stress and sudden... tears drop automatically.  

Gosh, what happen to me? !

probably not mature enough or else I'm too negative...

#2 Gonna make a decisive decision for my further study.

Property management, my latest decision.

I plan to study property management and after I get the license, I will go on study what I really want to.

Is this plan works? I not so sure...

Does property management really suitable for me?(doubting...)

Who knows what will happen in the end?

So I swear to myself, I must try it out!

Fine.

P/s: happy birthday to my dear sibling! 

My New Year

All because of my dearest had gone so we can't celebrate Chinese New Year in this year. Hence, I got a few angpao only..what a sad news... (p/s: I'm not blaming here) Still the same. The 1st day we visited to granpa's house (supposed to say my aunt's house cause he's living peacefully in the heaven right now^^) and the rest I spent my time in Ipoh.

My 1st day, I total spent 5hours to sleep at my aunt's house. OMG!

Second day, which is my grandma's birthday, so we had a celebration at there. Nothing news... Wish my granny in the pink of health! lol... Indeed my parents decided to go to Thailand in the next morning, but something happened so the plan had been rejected.

All as once, I got an idea to go to Penang after my breakfast in the morning. Thanks God, no traffic jam on the way to Georgetown:)) It's been 10++ years I didn't step on Penang... lol, a lot changes.

 With my parent and siblings

Didn't spend enough time in Georgetown, hope to visit again and again! That's a extremely nice place:)) 

end my post here, wanna sleep...

My dearest

有時候我還真忘了你已經離開了我

給天堂的你，

還記得我嗎? 

記憶中你彷彿不曾呼喊過我的名字

也許在你的記憶中我不曾出現過

有時候我還真懷疑你到底知道站在你面前向你問好的是誰嗎

這一夜  我好掛著你

我想見的笑臉 只有懷念 不懂 怎去再聊天

獨自徘徊在你的房間  聞不到丁點的風油味

以往狹窄的走道變得遼闊許多

風扇已經停止轉動  掛在牆上的那面鐘已被卸下  床單也重新被鋪上

看著這一切的改變  空氣中忽而瀰漫著海水味的辛酸

眼眶中凝聚著豆大般的淚水  我不敢讓它們明目張膽地從我臉暇滑落

只好抬頭眨眨眼  讓淚水重新滋潤我雙眼

按住那粉紅的鼻子 重新透透氣

因為我實在不想讓過路人發現我的薄弱

你知道嗎

其實我有多麼的想像其他小孩那樣可以和自己的阿爺有說有笑

分享每一份喜悅 述說每一段經歷  解決每一件煩惱

很遺憾  我們都做不到

好走了

我愛你

CNY Celebration

Wooah, I'm in a darn great mood right now!! We won the champion again!! Besides, I won a prize in calligraphy contest in individual too:) Congrats!~ Thank you S3S for bringing me a lot of gay and memories. Hope you guys have a wonderful happy CNY!

17years+months

Time flies huh? I've been living in Malaysia for 17years+months since 94. I used to paint and plan my future when I was still a little young girl. And now, looking back, I've found that nothing has connection with my dream or plan. There are always a big differences between dream and reality.

After my journey to China, I realized that Malaysia isn't that kind of worse. If there weren't any political problems or racial discrimination in Malaysia, I think I'd enjoy to living in this country. So far, I still haven't given up the dream of going to the U.S! Indeed, I really envy those who can study abroad or emigrate to U.S!! Hope I'll be there in someday, too:)

This year is the very last year of my senior life. I don't expect my SPM result flying in color, but at least 5 credits including BM, Adds Math and Physics, that's all. Please~ Praying for days and nights... By the way, joking around and daydreaming are what I do all days long in school in this remaining months. I read novel, 'the last song' which written by Nicholas Spark on Maths class, chit-chat with fellows on Physics class, daydreaming on Chinese class and I only pay my attention on Ms Mermaid's class. (Honestly, she looks like mermaid, really!) ...
Do what I love and love what I do, that's how I spend my remaining months in school. Wasted!